Changes

June 5, 2014

I have been reading the book “Kisses from Katie” along with the other leaders and youth as preparation for our mission trip to Costa Rica. God is revealing things to me as I read this book so much about life, love, His truth and our call to obedience. It is so easy to get stuck in our everyday mundane lives and forget that our world is small. We all live here together in the same world our circumstances are different. We are all Gods children (whether we know Him or not). People are hungry for God especially those who don’t realize they are lost in need of a Savior.

God chose us, just like He chose Moses or King David or Katie. It is up to us to answer the call. That doesn’t mean we are going to part the Red Sea, become king or move halfway around the world. What it does mean is that if we believe that God is good and if we believe that He delights in us then it goes to say that He wants the best for us. Even when we can’t see how it is “best.” Even when it hurts, even when it requires sacrificing things we want to hold on to. God always has a better way. Why is it so hard for us to follow Gods better way for us. Is it because we can’t see it? If we know that His ways are higher than our ways and that His plans for us are good, then why is obedience so hard. I am guilty I know. So I believe it is in our fallen nature that fools us into thinking that we know ourselves better than the one who created us. That we should be in control.  

At the beginning of the year I prayed and told God I wanted to live with abandon. I even adopted that as my theme song. Little did I know that this prayer to God would humble me by causing a sacrifice I wasn’t prepared for. I said I give you my life and He said okay. I said take what you want and He said I will and He did.  

Things were going great for me. I had a great family, a great job and was successful in the eyes of man. Those of you who know me, know that my heart is heavy with the youth of this world and all they are faced with. My heart is to help them see the rich life they have in Christ and how the power of God through them can change the world. So when we began the Finish Strong campaign at church my husband and I immediately began praying to see what God wanted us to do. God gave us an amount he wanted and said to give half now. He provided the half we needed and we gave with joy in our hearts. Three days after sowing into the campaign I found out that at the end of the year my position was going to be eliminated. I would still have a position, but it would be different professionally and financially.

I told God to take what He wanted and He did. He took my job. Needless to say I was devastated. I had put 150% of myself into my job. I didn’t understand how this could happen. Immediately following the news I could do nothing but pray. My family’s life was about to change and there was nothing I could do about it. How very wrong I was. I could do something – pray. It was in praying in those first few hours that I felt The Lord right by my side. Holding me up and saying to me this is not about you it is about me. You will handle this with integrity. I had all the fleshly desires of being mean, giving up, and lashing out but I chose to be obedient and walk out the next five months on the job the way God wanted. That is not to say that I didn’t fall short sometimes and get an attitude, but I was determined to keep my eyes on Jesus.

Once I decided to be obedient I immediately came under spiritual attack. I began suffering asthma attacks on a regular basis. I have not had asthma since I was 10, but here I was on daily medication, getting breathing treatments and carrying around an inhaler. I didn’t understand how I could walk this out the way God wanted if I could barely breathe. My youth family leaders, kids and their parents rallied around me in prayer. I slowly got better and kept my eyes on Him. Things changed for me at work. I still did not have my position, but people saw the way I was handling the situation and complimented me on being so strong. I immediately let them know that I am not strong. It is The Lord who picks me up everyday and strengthens me to keep moving. It is The Lord who enables me to give my 150% in a hostile environment and it is The Lord who gives me the strength to go above and beyond the call of duty when everyone is telling me not too.

I have had a chance to testify and share The Lord and His work in my life with more people over the course of these few months than I have in 16 years at work. That is great, but it is also sad. As I continued to trust in the Lord, He told me to resign my job. During worship one Sunday He said “I have closed that door, why are you holding on to the door knob.” For me this was a choice I either trust in Him as I so often tell others to do, knowing that He is my ultimate provider or I try to do things my way.

I decided to trust in Him and resigned. Since resigning, the Lord has shown His faithfulness and has provided several different opportunities. I have been very discerning through these job opportunities to go where He is leading me to go. I have turned things down because He has said that was not for me. I will continue to trust in the Lord and know that no matter what, He is sovereign over this situation. He will guide me and He will provide for my family and I. Thank you Lord that you would trust me enough to use me because in stretching my faith, others are able to witness your strength in my life. We are talking about you more and people are seeing your love and faithfulness.